grading...grading...grading...

This is me grading. Doesn't it look fun??? Today is the deadline to post grades. Thank goodness I'm not a procrastinator! ;) Don't I look thrilled? I hate grading!!! Do you notice anything interesting in the picture?

This...this is where any semblance of sanity comes from. Thank you to all those have provided candy for the journey. ;) Let's hope it can get me through 'til midnight... And let's hope I can actually finish by midnight! Don't want my name on the "bad" list!

waving goodbye to Spring 07

I got this email from one of my ESL students on Friday (font not changed for the purposes of this picture!!!). Check out the subject too! At that point, we had only missed ONE CLASS!! I will give my last final for the semester on Wednesday. I realized Friday that I'm really going to miss my students. I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to teach them and learn from them over the last four months.

I pray that they learned more than English. ...that they increased their confidence, that they learned to work more effectively with others, that they learned to ask good questions, that they realized that each of them matters, that they learned that their voice (spoken or written) has power when they use it the right way...and so much more... I hope that each of them has been challenged and that when they look back, they will see that, in some way, they are not the same. I know that is true for some; I pray it for the others as well.

because it pleases YOU, I come

OK, so I'm grading papers. I HATE grading papers! Although occasionally it's quite humorous and entertaining, more often, it's just tedious. So I'm totally not feeling like grading, but I'm SO behind. Usually, that's a result of me being a slacker and procrastinator, but that's actually not true this time. Life's just been busy...good, but busy.

Today, however, I find myself with several hours of "down time." As one might imagine, grading is not what my heart is longing for, yet it calls to me. I feel like I have cabin fever, but I just started working! I keep pausing to consider all the other things I could be doing, but the guilt ties me down. The temptation was beginning to win... And then God spoke...

I come tonight to yield my right. I give YOU my life, as a gift of offering...

Now, that wasn't Moi's intended message, but God spoke pretty clearly to me...right when I needed to hear it. That sucks! He's spoken to me so much about learning discipline and learning to focus, yet I sit here like a victim of severe ADD.

I'm not here to serve my comfort or my desires. I'm here to give it all to YOU, to pour myself out until there is nothing left, to give and not hold back, to serve others selflessly, to do my best...even in the seemingly mundane. God, help me to give everything I've got to the tasks to which YOU've called me. Remind me that it's not about me.


For those of you who are interested, Moi's song is rad. It's called Te Agrada a Ti or It Pleases You. Here's the rest:

I come tonight to yield my right. I give You my life as a gift of offering like the one that You gave me. It may not make a difference. It may not change a single life. It may not move a single stone. But it pleases You... Because it pleases You, I come...

It's so not about me.

joy

So I finally have time to do classroom observations (I was supposed to be trying to do them all semester!), and I've really enjoyed it...except for having to sit still for so long (this is only one of the many reasons I hate school!). In doing so, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with one of the teachers, and for me, it's been a real blessing.

I've realized that in this wonderful profession of teaching, it is tough to build real relationships. You interact with people, but it is difficult to attain any real level of depth. Students, well, of course there must be boundaries. You can love them, you can share about your lives with each other, but there are definitely lines. So of course, build relationships with the other teachers! When!? We rub shoulders walking across campus and in fun and exciting meetings. We even exchange ideas, strategies, advice. But when and how does it go beyond that to real relationships? This is so foreign to me! In all the other jobs I've had, relationships got real. We didn't just know each other in passing, but we walked along side each other. I miss that. I love people. This is rough for me. I love people. I love being real with people.

So, all that to say, it's been really fun for me to at least begin to see past the surface of one of the teachers and to get to share some real thoughts, struggles, laughs. ;) Also, in observing her class tonight, I realized how much fun teaching can be. I was drained (note aforementioned lack of sleep), but two seconds after she asked me to help work with some of the students, my face began to light up. In just a few minutes, I got to watch a few students 'get it,' I was asked at least 4 times which classes I'd be teaching in the future and if they could be in my class, I got several good laughs (don't worry, the students were laughing too!), and I had some real interaction. The next time they started a group activity, no request for my assistance was needed. I jumped up as quickly as I could and got up in there with the students. So many things about teaching drive me crazy, but when it all comes down, I love the actual teaching part. I had a blast tonight. I walked out of that room with a smile on my face and feeling refreshed. I'm blown away every time I step back and look at all the ways God built me, and then I consider where He's put me...He knew what He was doing.

another long, but good day

I was gone all day teaching, observing, and Triple 7-ing. I got home around 10 and for the first time in...uhhh, maybe never...I didn't have any prep or grading to do...for tomorrow's class anyways. So I played around on my guitar for awhile and caught up with a couple friends, emails, and blogs. Now, I want to sleep...because I can and it's not 2...or 3...or 4am yet! But first (for Leah's sake ;), let me note a few highlights from today.

1. I accidentally discovered Dad had no lunch plans, so we both dropped everything for a quick, unexpected lunch date. Always a blessing.
2. I finally have time (2 weeks before the end of the semester!) to observe some of the full-time teachers and try to learn some new tricks. I got to observe/participate in two classes today, both of which I'll be teaching soon. I learned things in both, and even got a few laughs.
3. Somehow, I've become popular amongst the students of one of the classes I'm observing, so the teacher and I stuck around for awhile after class chatting with some of our faithful fans. It was fun, and I even learned more about grammar in the process! Did I ever mention that I love foreigners!? When it all comes down, I love that I get to spend my time with them everyday. What a blessing.
4. 777. What is Triple 7, you ask? It started as a group of crazy guys, and now, there is also a group of crazy girls, and they're all learning to lay down everything to live for their Savior. Pretty awesome stuff. Bonnie just had to ask once and now, I get to spend every Thursday hanging with a handful of these women, and they're even willing to suffer through my guitar playing! I feel blessed and refreshed every week. I am so thankful that God lets me love on those women, be a part of their lives, and learn from them.

So now, it's almost 1am, an hour earlier than my normal bedtime, and I'm fixin' to hit the sack (sorry, got a spurt of southern flowin' through me!). I hope you all are having a great week. I'm looking forward to an awesome Friday. I hope my eyes are open to what He wants me to see tomorrow.

Much love! Peace.

fun encounter

Oh ya, I forgot to mention... At the end of the class I observed, one of the students approached me, determined to take one of the my classes in the future. Prior to this, we had not spoken, but she had eavesdropped on a conversation I was having with another student/acquaintance. We discussed the classes I'd be teaching and she asked me my name several times. When I asked hers, I was perplexed. Usually, when it comes to cute asians, I can make fairly accurate speculations as to their origin based on appearance, accent, and if necessary, name. Yet with this one, I was unsure. So being the nosy and direct person that I am, I asked. Imagine my astonishment when she said Vietnam! So, in order to make her equally astonished (and perplexed), I quicly responded in Vietnamese! The look on her face was priceless. It was part smile, part confusion, part shock, and a little more confusion. She didn't really know what to say. Some odd noises came out as her jaw remained momentarily dropped. I love that kind of shock. She was giddy with excitement and even more determined at this point that we would meet again because she would most definitely be taking some of my classes. Fun stuff. She was cute.

I also got the pleasure of having a real conversation with a sweet German student I've met on several occasions around campus. On top of that, I got to catch up with a precious woman who I first met when I was working in Admissions. I helped her add a class...that I happened to be taking too, so we got to hang out for three hours everyday last summer learning English grammar. She's a sweety and just makes me smile.

Did I say it was a good day? Ya, it was.

a typical day

Hmm...long day, but good. I had my morning class, as usual. The first great thing was all the great reactions I got to my hair when I walked in. I love those students! They're fun. The second great thing - I walked out after class feeling like I'd accomplished something. Those are always good days. I feel a connection with the students, I feel like they're getting it, and we even laugh and have fun. Those are the moments I understand why God made me a teacher.

Tuesdays are my long days. I have my extra class - Prepositions. I would be perfectly content to never, ever teach this class again. My hope is that I will not have to. Every Monday night I realize how deeply I despise the class (not the students, just the content...and the fact that I only see the students once a week so I hardly know them). Nonetheless, today was fun. After brainstorming with my roommates for awhile last night, we determined that the most fun and educational thing I could do in class today was to have the students do skits. So we did the normal routine - a quiz, then homework review - then they worked together on their skits. It was fun actually being able to interact with the individuals in each group, which is a rarity because this class is so brief. So that was a blessing.

To make my typical Tuesday longer, I stayed to observe my mentor teacher (she is teaching one of the classes I'll be teaching in the Spring...and today I met some of the students I'll have in that class...shh...don't tell them they're not going to pass her class!). It was a blessing though to be there. I was encouraged to be reminded that she and I have very similar teaching styles, but also recognized many ways in which I could improve my teaching. It was also refreshing to talk with her after the class for awhile.

Hmm...from there, I've basically been procrastinating. It is now 1:12am and I still need to prepare for tomorrow's class. So, with that said, I will going. I was just going to leave a quick message, but I guess this gives you a picture of a day in my life, which is the title of this blog, right!? Ok, so what I originally wanted to say was... Go check out Carlos Whittaker's blog if you haven't already. Yesterday, they brought home Losiah, a baby they've been trying to adopt from Korea for two years. It made me cry, but it's precious and exciting. If you want to see the journey, click on "Adoption" to the right and you'll find a collection of videos. Ok, I think it's finally homework time or I won't get any sleep tonight! God bless.

long time, no blog

For my few faithful readers, I apologize for the lag in blogs. This is the first time in...well, I don't know if it's happened yet...that I've finished preparing for the next day's class(es) before midnight! I debated for a moment over writing or going to bed, but I couldn't help myself. Today was fun.

First, my students made me happy. I got to congratulate them today. I've been struggling with them. They haven't been where they should be. I've debated over whether it's me or them, or maybe something else. So I've been pushing them, challenging them, and motivating them with pop quizzes. But this week, they impressed me. We're finishing up what was supposed to be the most difficult chapter for students at this level, and they have done better than I've ever seen them do. They are getting it!! It's amazing. It's exciting. I told them I wasn't sure if it's because they're actually studying like they're supposed to now or if they just became brilliant all of a sudden. Or perhaps I'm figuring out a thing or two about how to teach them more effectively. My mom thinks it's a combination. Nonetheless, it's fun to see them doing well and understanding in a way that will allow them to actually use the language they're supposed to be learning. It was fun to see their smiles when I told them I was proud too. After class, a quick visit with mom turned into lunch with her and Tracy...also enjoyable.

When I arrived home, the stress was lighter than usual. Tomorrow's our first in-class write, so I didn't need to prepare a lecture, a quiz, activities, a PowerPoint, overheads...blah blah blah. I felt FREE!! It was nice. So I was excited when Chris Chris called and wanted to take me (well, technically, I guess I took her since she doesn't have a car!) to watch the sunset from the top of Mt. Rubidoux. This doesn't seem like a huge thing, but in all my years here, I've only been up the mountain once, and that was for sunrise...very, very early in the morning! Chris was excited because it was so windy today, which means the sky was nice and clear (plus, I think she knows how much I love being outside and probably knew a break in God's beauty would do me some good). So it was exciting to actually be able to say yes because I wasn't overwhelmed with school!

Being my normal self, of course we were late. We got to see the sunset as we walked up the mountain! But we had fun at the top for a moment, looking out over the city and enjoying the fresh air. I think Chris almost got blown off the mountain at one point, but we survived, and even made our way back down in the dark. I think Chris even saw her first star in Riverside. ;) It was a nice "get-away." Thanks, Chris.

on the way up


keep walkin' (Can you guess who's who?)

I told you the wind almost blew her off! (Look closely; she's holding onto the cross!)


hmm...(um, I guess you can check out the lip. Several of you have been asking about its progress. Not too shabby, huh!?)


Riverside...the good 'ole 951 (RCC's just to the right)


God's cool colors (no, it's not blurry; it was windy!)

Then, as if I hadn't had enough fun, Six let me attack her (with love, of course) when we got home. Isn't she cute!?

Phase 1 of the attack (no worries; it appears that Sixy is A-OK!)


Phase...I dunno, maybe, uhhh...6? The Not So Great Escape


Phase...The End...she still seems to be doing OK


Phase...Really The End...I think she's chet roi (yes, that's my floor she's sleeping on!). Good night, Sixy.

I am frequently reminded of how blessed I am to have people in my life that truly love me - when I'm up, when I'm down, when I'm not all I should be, when they see what I could be.

10 things I love about teaching ESL (not in any particular order)

1. hearing some of these things: "That's why you're a good teacher, because you work so hard," "Writing is a boring subject, but I'm learning without boring!" "When I talk to my family about school, I always tell them about you," "I wish this class was longer...no, it should still meet everyday, but it should be longer," "I know I should be in a higher class, but I'm glad to be in this class because I met you," "I'm not a good writer in my language either, but maybe after this class, I will write well in English at least," "I know I take too many classes, but I want to learn English so bad so I can be a missionary," "I'm sorry I dropped your class. I didn't have money for the books. But can I still come sometimes to listen?," "You can't do everything, Jenelle. We have to work hard too," and post-its on turned-in assignments that say, "I hope you have a good weekend, Jenelle."
2. seeing the look of confusion on their faces the first time I said, "Pop Quiz!" turn to horror when I explained that "Pop means SURPRISE!"...then again when I said, "Times up! Pencils down." (ya, there will be LOTS more pop quizes to come!)
   
3. getting notes from the tutoring center and getting 3, 4, and 5 drafts because they want so badly to learn
4. students yelling and waving me down from across campus just to say hi
5. asking how they're doing when I come into the classroom and getting genuine answers because they know I care
6. students waiting around everyday after class to talk to me...sometimes to ask questions, sometimes to share concerns, and other times, just to talk
7. asking "Did you guys have any problems with the homework?" and getting bombarded with questions because they actually did the work and are trying so hard to understand it better, and asking for examples and having so many shout them out that I can't distinguish them
   
8. learning grammar (ya, I know, it's nerdy. But hey, if you're going to do something, you should do it well. It's cool knowing I actually understand things better and can better explain them to nonnative speakers who are hungry to learn.)
9. jumping on the table, crawling under things, doing crazy things all over the classroom so they'll have an image in their minds of all those darned prepositions!
10. watching their faces go from "Huh?" to "Ah ha!" and watching the fear and terror about performing in English subside after giving them confidence that they can do it

10 things I've discovered I hate about teaching ESL (in no particular order)

1. lesson planning and grading...until all hours of the night...every night
2. learning grammar in order to teach it (knowing how to use it well doesn't mean you have any idea why it works that way!)
3. overhead and lcd projectors that either aren't there when they're supposed to be or don't work when they are there (for those of you who were wondering, an overhead projecter is really just a bright light when it won't focus!)
4. figuring out what in the world my students gave me because after about 6 lectures on the topic and numerous examples, they still don't quite comprehend the concept of headers (papers without the assignment written on them are pretty common, but from time to time even get things without names...these are adults!)
5. explaining something for the um-teenth time, not because they don't understand, but because they don't listen
6. asking, "Does everybody understand? Does anybody have any questions?", getting absolute silence (and no, they're not shy), then students acting like they've never heard what I'm talking about the next time it comes up
7. lecturing about grammar that doesn't make sense (or that does make sense, but is far too complicated to explain at my students' comprehension levels)
8. accepting late work (this one is about to stop..."No exceptions" is quickly becoming one of my favorite expressions)
9. making photocopies...LOTS of photocopies (300 just today!)...the broken copy machines...the lines to use the copy machine when it is working...and copying 300 things and making other teachers wait in line while I figure out how the copy machine works (I may know how to do just about anything with a computer, but a copy machine!? those things are crazy!)
   
10. the crusty edges on paper torn out of notebooks (sure it decorates the apartment...and my teacher bag, but really, who wants that kind of decoration!?)...next time, it's a zero, kids!

Have no fear...that's not the end of the story. To be continued...

"I prayed for this class"

So Friday, all the students had left except one. She and I began walking out of the classroom and she says, "Teacher, I prayed for this class. All the others were full and I wanted to study English so bad. I prayed that God would give me a class." I said, "That's cool! I prayed for this class, too, I just didn't know it!" She smiled and began going on her way. Then she turned back. "I prayed for my teacher, too." Wow... I said, "Please keep praying for your teacher, ok?" She smiled again and agreed.

One blessing after another, I tell you. I mean, really, that's just cool! I pray that I would learn to be amazed by all that He does. I also pray that I would be disciplined to pray for these students constantly. That's really the best thing I can give them.

Day two starts tomorrow...

did someone say "Miss Herman"?

For those of you who haven't heard, God blind-sided me with an amazing blessing (I think!) last week. As many of you know, I have been waiting, sometimes patiently, sometimes not so much, seeking His direction for me. Several practical and appealing opportunities have presented themselves, but although logical, I had a peace about none of them...and so I waited...and waited. Most of you know that waiting is not one of my strengths. I like to move, I like to go, I like to do.

A good friend reminded me of the story of Jacob wrestling with God. He refused to give up, he refused to move on. She pointed out that God knew it took obedience and restraint for me to wait, and so He blessed me with a "suddenly". There were several paths I could have taken (many have said I 'should' have taken them), but I refused to be in any place He did not take me to. So I waited...wanting so bad to do, but not knowing what to do.

So I'm at work Wednesday. While trying to answer students' questions in the lobby of Admissions, I'm approached by a gentleman whom I knew to be an ESL instructor at RCC. "Are you Jenelle?" "Ya. Why?" "Oh, good, I've been looking all over for you." "Why? What do you want?" (Note: I'm in high-speed mode. The lobby is quite crowded with antsy and confused students and I'm anxious to help them out and clear them out.) "You have your MA in TESOL from APU?" "Ya." "We've had a higher demand for ESL classes than we expected and we need another teacher. Would you be interested?" "Uh, ya." "That's great!" "So what do we need to do?" "That's a good question. Let me go find out!" "Uh, ok. Do you want my number?" "Ya, tha'd be great!"

Stunned. Shocked. Overwhelmed. Amazed. I'm not sure which most accurately describes the emotions I felt. However, shocked is not an emotion I experience often...yet it remained all day without ceasing.

Within minutes, I received a phone call asking me to come interview with a couple of the ESL teachers, with the assumption that things would go well, I would observe a class that night, and start teaching Reading the next week. Mind you I'm dressed in my typical attire, but on the more casual end of that! They said that wasn't a problem. So off to the interview I went.

I quickly realized that my handle on TESOL concepts and terminology were no longer at the tip of my tongue. Usually, performing in such circumstances is one of my gifts. That was not so this time. We did enjoy ourselves though.

Shortly after the interview, I received a call telling me it was a go...except I'd be teaching the Grammar and Writing class...and I would begin on Friday! Either they were absolutely desperate or they somehow overlooked all my shortcomings in the interview and somehow saw some potential in me. Nevertheless, it was mine! Not by any means because I'd earned it, but purely because God had given it to me.

The shock increased when I realized I'd be teaching in less than 48-hours and had no idea what I'd be teaching, nor did I even know which textbooks we'd be using! There's nothing like a little pressure and uncertainty when you start something new! I went home completely thrilled...and terrified as I realized I had no idea what I needed to do to prepare and I would be in a classroom in front of students very soon.

A phone call that night from one of the teachers, an encounter with him the next morning, and a meeting that afternoon set my fears at ease and the excitement began to win out. Thursday night as I prepared and Friday as I entered my classroom I was still at ease. I expected to be nervous, but it felt right...righter (pardon the gramar) that I ever thought possible. Perhaps God is beginning to answer His promise to me that He would develop in me a love for teaching. Time will tell.

My students were precious. Respectful and quiet, yet responsive and willing to participate. They range in age from probably 18 or 20 to a cute 62-year old woman. They seem hungry to learn, and even appeared hopeful that they could one day love writing as I have grown to.

I still feel overwhelmed and am certainly a little lost as to how to do the best job for these students. But I am definitely excited and anxious to watch them grow. I think I could see a lot of positive results in my own strengths, but I can only make a true difference if I rely on His. I pray He will continue to teach me how. I pray for people around me who will model that for me, and at the same time, challenge and encourage me to do the same. I pray that His gift to me will be for His glory.

P.S. I told them they have to call me "Jenelle". I was never one for formalities! I can handle "Miss Jenelle", but "Miss Herman"? ...just couldn't do it!