joy

So I finally have time to do classroom observations (I was supposed to be trying to do them all semester!), and I've really enjoyed it...except for having to sit still for so long (this is only one of the many reasons I hate school!). In doing so, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with one of the teachers, and for me, it's been a real blessing.

I've realized that in this wonderful profession of teaching, it is tough to build real relationships. You interact with people, but it is difficult to attain any real level of depth. Students, well, of course there must be boundaries. You can love them, you can share about your lives with each other, but there are definitely lines. So of course, build relationships with the other teachers! When!? We rub shoulders walking across campus and in fun and exciting meetings. We even exchange ideas, strategies, advice. But when and how does it go beyond that to real relationships? This is so foreign to me! In all the other jobs I've had, relationships got real. We didn't just know each other in passing, but we walked along side each other. I miss that. I love people. This is rough for me. I love people. I love being real with people.

So, all that to say, it's been really fun for me to at least begin to see past the surface of one of the teachers and to get to share some real thoughts, struggles, laughs. ;) Also, in observing her class tonight, I realized how much fun teaching can be. I was drained (note aforementioned lack of sleep), but two seconds after she asked me to help work with some of the students, my face began to light up. In just a few minutes, I got to watch a few students 'get it,' I was asked at least 4 times which classes I'd be teaching in the future and if they could be in my class, I got several good laughs (don't worry, the students were laughing too!), and I had some real interaction. The next time they started a group activity, no request for my assistance was needed. I jumped up as quickly as I could and got up in there with the students. So many things about teaching drive me crazy, but when it all comes down, I love the actual teaching part. I had a blast tonight. I walked out of that room with a smile on my face and feeling refreshed. I'm blown away every time I step back and look at all the ways God built me, and then I consider where He's put me...He knew what He was doing.

angels gettin' crazy

Ok, so I was talking with a friend today about how I sometimes struggle with teaching ESL because there are more important things in the world than getting your commas in the right place, knowing the difference between an adjective and an adverb, and understanding subject-verb agreement. I love that I get to be surrounded by people from around the world nearly everyday of the week. I love that they love learning (most of them). I love that I get to challenge, inspire, motivate, and equip them, and who knows what they'll do with those skills later. But really, in the grand scheme of things, who really cares if they can write a good paragraph!? Sometimes I struggle to motivate myself to "waste" time learning the grammar or figuring out creative ways to teach it when I am constantly thinking about the bigger picture. I want to live for more. I want to give people hope. I want to see people come alive. So, my friend who was totally digging what I said, gave me a great pep talk on how I'm making a difference. Ooh yay, somebody thinks it matters...but still... It's not that what I do doesn't matter or isn't important, but I want more!

Well, apparently, God was listening to my plea for greater purpose. One really cool conversation (the listening ear from above), was followed by another, and yet another. With a few friends, we spoke of all the craziness in the world (namely Uganda and Sudan), why it matters to care about all that, and how we could make a difference. I'd say that's inspiring. I leave that office and crash into a couple other friends. We got to talk about Ramadan and fasting. Again, a conversation that made a couple of the individuals really think about some things...myself included. Then, trying to go home once again (those of you who have ever tried to leave somewhere with me know how ineffective that can be when I run into people!), I encountered some long, lost Vietnamese friends. I stopped to catch up for a moment, which turned into almost a two-hour conversation. It went all over the place, but we talked about God, Christianity, and Buddhism for quite awhile. Wow, wasn't even trying. But get this, none of that even compares to what's coming...

I get home and Chris Chris comes to visit. See, God's been tugging at her heart for awhile now. She has all but given herself to Him for a couple months. She adjusted her life's path in order to follow Him and serve people for Him. She started letting go of things that were not of Him. He has been rearranging her way of thinking, doing incredible work in her heart...telling her daily, "I want you. I'm waiting for you." She's told me countless times in the last few weeks, "I want to live for Him. I want to be His." Yet something was holding her back. Today, she finally said she couldn't even figure out what her excuse was. What it came down to was the fear of 'no turning back.' She knows He won't let go. After some time, some thinking, some praying, some more time, some more praying...she said, "I want to jump." So jump I did...on Riss and Six who were sleeping. They came in to join us during the first minute (12:01 a.m.) of Wednesday, October 25, as Chris prayed and handed her life over to Christ...completely..."marked in Him with a seal" and now "God's possession" (Ephesians 1:13-14). Freedom...finally, freedom... Beauty, righteousness, purpose, identity, unconditional love, worthiness, no more shame...all through Him. Praise God!

"You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed."
(Psalm 139:16)

Happy Birthday Chris Chris!!
Wednesday, October 25, 12:01 a.m.

P.S. I was trying to find a picture of angels celebrating. The picture up top was the best I could do! But hey, it might look something like that up there!!

the house saga... part iv

Dare I say that my parents' house has sold!? It appears as though God is answering the prayers of many in very cool ways (as He often does). There was a family in need of a home to own, with all the financial resources and no restraints...and their good friends live up the street from my parents. Papers have been signed and they are in escrow to soon become neighbors! So, as far as we can tell, God is answering the prayers of my parents, and at the same time, meeting the needs of this other family that desperately needs to own a home. (Brief Insight: They are trying to adopt a child from Russia and one of the requirements is to own a home. The Case Worker visited the house last week, and it seems their on their way to having a new daughter by the end of this year. What a blessing to them and to my parents!)

Please continue to pray for my parents as they work out all the details and get everything packed up (again!). The plan is to move them up to Arrowhead on November 4. Let's see what God has in store this time around! (This is the new place.)

Oh, and please lift up the family (Jared & Jennifer) that was unable to buy the house. God didn't put them in my parents' life on accident. Pray that they would know how to be a blessing. Pray for the family as they discover what God has in store for them.

the house saga...part III

Well, sorry I have vanished from the blog world temporarily. I determined that if I could not sleep, I could not blog...and not having gotten enough sleep for...well, for awhile, I have had to steer clear of my blog. It has been difficult at times, as I have had so many things rolling around in my head that I wanted to put on paper...but another time, I guess.

So, to keep in step with the rule (no sleep, no blog), I should probably not be blogging now. However, there is something I would like my few faithful readers to lift up in prayer. You may recall the news about my parents' home and their upcoming move. Well, apparently, that wasn't God's plan...or perhaps, just not His timing. Some things fell through that were out of my parents' hands and now they are caught in the frustrating inbetween, not knowing if they're moving or not moving or when or how or...you get the picture. I think the most frustrating and draining part for them right now is the unknown, not knowing which direction to move, so instead, feeling slightly paralyzed.

Please pray for wisdom for both of them. Pray for willingness to listen and obey even if it may not be what they'd hoped for. Pray that God would speak loudly when He does so that there is no question about their next step...not that He would reveal the whole path, but that they would know with certainty where to place their foot next...as it is currently hovering over an unknown. Pray for patience as they wait as well. And pray for joy...that they would find joy in knowing that the God that they are waiting for to show them the way, is the same God who is in control of every moment. Also, please lift up the family who had set their hopes on buying my parents home. As far as we understand, they are facing an unexpected financial hardship.

Thanks for praying as you're led. I'm excited to see what He has planned. I know it's good. It's always good. Now for that sleep my body's been longing for... God bless!

did someone say "Miss Herman"?

For those of you who haven't heard, God blind-sided me with an amazing blessing (I think!) last week. As many of you know, I have been waiting, sometimes patiently, sometimes not so much, seeking His direction for me. Several practical and appealing opportunities have presented themselves, but although logical, I had a peace about none of them...and so I waited...and waited. Most of you know that waiting is not one of my strengths. I like to move, I like to go, I like to do.

A good friend reminded me of the story of Jacob wrestling with God. He refused to give up, he refused to move on. She pointed out that God knew it took obedience and restraint for me to wait, and so He blessed me with a "suddenly". There were several paths I could have taken (many have said I 'should' have taken them), but I refused to be in any place He did not take me to. So I waited...wanting so bad to do, but not knowing what to do.

So I'm at work Wednesday. While trying to answer students' questions in the lobby of Admissions, I'm approached by a gentleman whom I knew to be an ESL instructor at RCC. "Are you Jenelle?" "Ya. Why?" "Oh, good, I've been looking all over for you." "Why? What do you want?" (Note: I'm in high-speed mode. The lobby is quite crowded with antsy and confused students and I'm anxious to help them out and clear them out.) "You have your MA in TESOL from APU?" "Ya." "We've had a higher demand for ESL classes than we expected and we need another teacher. Would you be interested?" "Uh, ya." "That's great!" "So what do we need to do?" "That's a good question. Let me go find out!" "Uh, ok. Do you want my number?" "Ya, tha'd be great!"

Stunned. Shocked. Overwhelmed. Amazed. I'm not sure which most accurately describes the emotions I felt. However, shocked is not an emotion I experience often...yet it remained all day without ceasing.

Within minutes, I received a phone call asking me to come interview with a couple of the ESL teachers, with the assumption that things would go well, I would observe a class that night, and start teaching Reading the next week. Mind you I'm dressed in my typical attire, but on the more casual end of that! They said that wasn't a problem. So off to the interview I went.

I quickly realized that my handle on TESOL concepts and terminology were no longer at the tip of my tongue. Usually, performing in such circumstances is one of my gifts. That was not so this time. We did enjoy ourselves though.

Shortly after the interview, I received a call telling me it was a go...except I'd be teaching the Grammar and Writing class...and I would begin on Friday! Either they were absolutely desperate or they somehow overlooked all my shortcomings in the interview and somehow saw some potential in me. Nevertheless, it was mine! Not by any means because I'd earned it, but purely because God had given it to me.

The shock increased when I realized I'd be teaching in less than 48-hours and had no idea what I'd be teaching, nor did I even know which textbooks we'd be using! There's nothing like a little pressure and uncertainty when you start something new! I went home completely thrilled...and terrified as I realized I had no idea what I needed to do to prepare and I would be in a classroom in front of students very soon.

A phone call that night from one of the teachers, an encounter with him the next morning, and a meeting that afternoon set my fears at ease and the excitement began to win out. Thursday night as I prepared and Friday as I entered my classroom I was still at ease. I expected to be nervous, but it felt right...righter (pardon the gramar) that I ever thought possible. Perhaps God is beginning to answer His promise to me that He would develop in me a love for teaching. Time will tell.

My students were precious. Respectful and quiet, yet responsive and willing to participate. They range in age from probably 18 or 20 to a cute 62-year old woman. They seem hungry to learn, and even appeared hopeful that they could one day love writing as I have grown to.

I still feel overwhelmed and am certainly a little lost as to how to do the best job for these students. But I am definitely excited and anxious to watch them grow. I think I could see a lot of positive results in my own strengths, but I can only make a true difference if I rely on His. I pray He will continue to teach me how. I pray for people around me who will model that for me, and at the same time, challenge and encourage me to do the same. I pray that His gift to me will be for His glory.

P.S. I told them they have to call me "Jenelle". I was never one for formalities! I can handle "Miss Jenelle", but "Miss Herman"? ...just couldn't do it!