back in the saddle again (imagine me in a cowboy hat, chillin' on a horse, open fields all around me)

Ok, so I was confronted tonight at church by Leah about not blogging enough. See, Leah and I don't see each other much. Sundays at Sandals, to be exact...and only on Sundays when we are not consumed in other conversations or responsibilities and we actually touch base with each other. I find that most of these encounters with Leah are encouraging, uplifting, challenging, or thought-provoking, so they are definitely a good thing. But they are rare. So when I asked Leah if blogging was a Christ-like behavior that I needed to be more disciplined in (as I've been struggling with making His priorities my priorities and being disciplined in the things that matter to Him), she said, "Jenelle..." Ok, let's be honest. It's 1am and I'm bad with details, so I don't remember precisely what she said, but it was along the lines of desiring community and doing life together, knowing what's going on and how people are doing. And that hit me. People. People are what matter to me. Apart from God, nothing matters more. Why do I read blogs? Because I love knowing how people are doing, what they're thinking about, what's inspiring or discouraging them. I love walking with them even when the busyness of our lives won't allow it.

So, to the faithful few who do read my ramblings, I apologize for being distant. There have been many times I've thought of you (whoever you are!), even times when I've taken pictures or video just for your sake. But, being the perfectionist that I am, I always want to produce something worth reading, something worthy of your time. Although I write to share my life, I also hope that I write to bring glory to God. I hope that my writing - my life - inspires, challenges, and encourages those who give up minutes of their day, and brings glory to the one who we should be living every moment of our day for. So I do not want to just put words on a screen. I want to suck up your minutes in glory to HIm. So if the words serve only to take you to your knees in prayer for me or something I've written, then praise be to Him. If those words help you to see that you are not walking alone because someone else shares your struggles, then the glory is His. But God help me to never just put words on the screen. I know how many of His minutes in my life are wasted each day soaking up words and other distractions. None of us need more distractions; we all need more things that point us to Him, in whatever way that may be.

On that note and without any more rambling, I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately. I've never met anyone that wouldn't be blessed by spending more time in prayer. I have been convicted lately of how desperately I need to walk in intimacy with Him. I want my life and my thoughts to be a constant flow of prayer. Now I have to make my priorities match that desire. So, this is something I'm aiming for each morning before I start my day. Pray for me because I suck at discipline and I suck and consistency, but man, I want to know Him more deeply and I want my heart to be more like His. I read a quote the other day that Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision, wrote on the inside of his Bible - "Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God." I long for that. I believe it will only come through constant prayer. Pray for me to fight that battle each morning and throughout the day.

P.S. Thank you, Leah, for wanting to walk alongside me.
P.S.S. If you read this thing, leave me a comment and let me know you're out there! I want to know who you are!