mission impossible: night vision

We were challenged once again at Sandals on Sunday about our mission and our vision. Here are more of my thoughts. I will only answer a couple questions that really hit the spot. I am remaining brief(er?) out of respect for all the precious nonnative English speakers that read this (they're sacrificing hours of their lives just to keep up with me!). Let the reflections begin...

How many rejections are you willing to experience in order to hear just one person say, "Thank you for loving me into His Kingdom?"

Really, for me, the issue isn't the fear of rejection or even a willingness to sacrifice to show people His love through me. That's a lot of what I live for. I love people. I love loving them. I love giving myself for them. And I love when they see Him through me, because of me. I love sharing His hope; it changes lives. Sharing, risking, that is not my obstacle.

My obstacle is me, not the people I need to love. I have every desire and intention to love them with everything in me, to love unconditionally, to share hope and Truth whenever I can. But here's the problem: We need love in order to give love. He showers His love on us. There is never a shortage. My obstacle, my struggle, is that I fail to go to Him as my source of all that. Have I said this before? Ya, I think I say it a lot. But that's the bottom line, really. I can't give myself to others unless I am giving myself to Him completely first. Every time, without fail, I fall short. I pour myself out until I am empty.

And for crying outloud, they don't need me! They need Him!! I need to stop giving myself. I need to stop giving my love. That will never be enough. And even worse, it's destructive. When I am giving me, I begin seeking things that fill me. And none of them fill me enough. I seek things that hurt me and hurt others in an attempt to fill the emptiness from pouring myself out. All the while, God is sitting there wondering how I could possibly overlook His unending supply of everything I need. And still, I seek it elsewhere. This is my struggle. I need to be filled by Him.

My efforts to love others for Him cannot begin when I encounter the many precious people around me that need His love. The battle, the journey, must begin in my heart, in my priorities, in my understanding and acceptance of His incomprehensable love and grace...that is my obstacle.

The final question for discussion: What would He want me to begin doing today in order to be the hope that others are searching for?

I must once again begin living as though He is the hope that I am searching for! In my priorities, in my thoughts, He must come before all; He must be all.

This is not as brief as I intended, but it is progress. Until next time...